we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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