Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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