I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
