Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
