If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
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just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Mom said you looked used
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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