She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
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I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
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Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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