How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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