just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
