Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
