WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
