You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Randomize
