So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
My boob is missing a layer of skin
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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