I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
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