I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
