Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
