she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
