Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
