You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
