I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize