We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
