everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
This is the high leading the old right now
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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