He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
