we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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