Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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