but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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