i jhust puked up my retainher.
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
