i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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