the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
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