Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
