my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
