The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
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And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
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I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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