now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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