Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Randomize
