The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Randomize
