I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
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