It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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