you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
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