The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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