Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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