so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
