I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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