through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
