I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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