All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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