Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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