i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
