I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Randomize
