Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
