I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize