Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
