youre lurking in front of me
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Randomize
