I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
