Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
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