quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Randomize
