Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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