do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
