I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
