Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
