walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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