His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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