Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
