Do you still have your period?
oh god the rape fog is back!
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
