at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
