Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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